Slumber Party
by Old Man Panda
Summary: Kurt Wagner + room full of girls in pj's = bad news


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Slumber Party

By Panda-kun

Marvel owns its characters. Ronnie and Artemis belong to Kender ( I think). Bengal Tiger belongs to Broadsword comics. "Old Time Rock'n'Roll" belongs to Bob Seager. "Missionary Man" belongs to the Eurythmics. This is the first in my Bengal Tiger chronicles. The order to read these are Slumber Party, Tears in Heave, Torn, Holidays, Come on Down, Keep Away From Extreme Cold, Staring Contest, and Faith, Heart, and Skill.I love comments, flames are given to Lockheed. This takes place shortly after Uncanny 200. Hope you enjoy.

Slumber Party Panda-kun

"NO!"

"Sorry Ororo, you have no choice," said Kitty.

"Kitten, I told you I had no desire to join your gathering," said an exasperated Ororo.

"To bad Sugar, Ah think you've been overruled," came the southern twang of Rouge's voice from behind Storm.

"Besides, Artemis, Ali and I came all the way up here for some female bonding. And the last time I checked you were female," said Veronica.

"I _really_ do not wish to do this. It seems rather silly," Ororo said.

"You'll love it, I promise," Kitty chimed in.

"I'd better Kitten," Ororo let the warning in her voice just hang there.

The sounds of Ororo's protests made there way all throughout the second floor of the mansion. All the way down to the room of John Smith, Bengal Tiger. There they found John, Doug, and Warlock were working on their midterms.

"Query SelfsoulfriendDoug: what is gathering designated 'slumber party'?"

"Well 'Lock it's when a group of people gather together and sleep in the same place," said Doug.

"Query SelfsoulfriendDoug: do we not all sleep in the same place, this mansion?" Warlock asked inquisitively.

"Actually Warlock it's when a group of people sleep in the same room, like the girls are in the living room," John said, looking up from his computer.

"Further query SelffriendJohn: self does not require sleep. Can self not join in gathering designated 'slumber party'?" asked Warlock sounding very worried.

"It wouldn't matter even if we were invited in the first place, because there is little sleep involved at a slumber party," John replied.

"But since we're guys it doesn't matter Warlock. It's a 'girls only' party," said Doug.

Warlock proceeded to transform into a mirror copy of Storm. "Self is now appearing female. Can Self now partake in the slumber party?"

Both John and Doug sighed. Warlock was a dear friend to both young mutants, but sometimes he's alien naiveté was hard to deal with. Before they could break the news to him there was a knock at the door.

"Hello mein freunds, how are you three?" asked Kurt with a playful grin on his face.

John turned to face his old friend. "Herr Wagner, I know that look. What do you have planned?"

"Me, John, something planned? I have no idea what you are insinuating," said Kurt with a look of mock hurt.

"Come on Elf! I've known you for a while now. I know the 'mischief' look. And I'm not going to fall for it," John said crossing his arms.

"Was?! Mischief, me? John, I'm hurt. To say I have nothing but the most noble intentions for the ladies downstairs, that really hurts," Kurt grabbed his chest as he spoke, like John's words had actually wounded him.

From behind Kurt came the rough voice of Wolverine. "That's because the kid knows you Elf. Putting you and that many girls in various stages of undress in the same five mile area, let alone the same house, is a bad idea."

"Et tu Logan? I was not going to suggest that we do anything to the fair frauleins downstairs," Kurt said as he turned to look at Logan.

"Right Elf, and I'm the Easter Bunny. What do you have planed? Ante up," Logan said.

"I just thought we might partake in that timeless male bonding ritual, the panty raid," Kurt said with a wicked smile.

"That's my cue to leave," Logan said and did just that.

In unison John and Doug yelled, "NO!"

"Query SelffriendKurt: what is 'panty raid?" asked Warlock.

"Well Warlock..." Kurt began.

Doug cut him off. "It's something that will get us in a lot of trouble!"

"Big surprise that Doug the baby is too scared to do something that might get him in trouble," came the voice of Reberto DeCosta.

"Shut up, 'Berto," Doug shouted back.

"So, Herr DeCosta, does that mean you wish to join me tonight?" Kurt asked.

"Sure, it sounds like fun," Roberto responded.

"John, Doug are you sure you two don't want to help?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt, you're one of my best friends, but you couldn't pay me to do something like that to the girls. Especially since they all can hurt me or get someone else hurt me," John replied.

"What if one of those fair frauleins, say Artemis, found out that you had harbored a major crush on her from the moment she arrived? What do you think she would say? Not to mention Dani's response," Kurt said with an evil grin.

"Elf you wouldn't..." was all John could say.

"We could come to a compromise Mein Freund. We're going to need a lookout to warn us if the girls catch on. With your powers you'd be perfect! What do you say?" Kurt asked.

"Like I have a choice Elf? I'll be your lookout," John said in a defeated tone.

"Good. Herr DeCosta, I believe we have work to do," Kurt said bounding off with Sunspot quickly following.

John just stood there for a second.

Doug looked at his friend. "Better you than I."

"I'm going to be sooooo dead," John said as he left.

Meanwhile, downstairs the party was begining to get into full swing.

"So Kitty, truth or dare?"

"I don't know Ronnie...truth," Kitty said.

Assembled in the living room were every female that could be associated with Xavier's from the X-Men; Storm, Rogue, and Shadowcat. Representing the New Mutants were Mirage, Karma, Wolvesbane, Magik and Magma. Other women who were joining the party were Dazzler, Artemis, and Veronica.

"Ok, Kits...besides Piotr, do you think any of your male teammates are hunks?" Ronnie said with a smile.

"Jeez Ronnie...hmm. John's my best friend so I don't think of him like that," Kitty said.

"Good thing, too," Dani replied under her breath.

"Logan's too old, Kurt's too blue, so I guess not," Kitty said.

"Hmmm...ok, I guess your off the hook, your turn," Ronnie said.

"Okay Rahne, truth or dare?" Kitty asked the young Scot.

"Truth, A thenk," she said timidly.

"Do you like Sam?" Kitty said.

"Dare, A meant dare. A mean et," she said. Her face was becoming as red as her hair.

"Sorry Firetop, you chose truth," Kitty said.

Rahne responded in the quietest voice she could, "Aye, a little."

"Okay Rahne, your turn to ask someone," Dani said.

"Okay Dani, Truth or Dare?" Rahne asked.

"Truth," Dani said.

"Have ye and John ever kissed?" Rahne asked.

"Uh, yeah. Ok Ronnie, truth or dare," Dani asked said answering Rahne's question without missing a beat.

"Dare," Ronnie said with an evil glimmer in her eyes.

"I hear you're a good singer; sing something for us," Dani said.

"That's all? You all need to work on your dares," she said sounding disappointed.

Ronnie went over to the kareoke machine and punched in a number. Kitty and Artemis recognized it as "Missionary Man", a song that they knew Ronnie had used in her act. Ronnie belted out the song. Afterwards she bowed to a round of applause.

"Kits, 'Mis, what did you two think I was going to do?" Ronnie said with a smile.

Her two friends just shook their heads.

"Just be glad it was us girls here, Dani. If you would have challenged one the guys to sing, I can only imagine the horror," Ronnie said with a grin.

"That's for sure. Has anyone else heard Kurt in the shower or anywhere else? He really can't sing," Kitty said.

"Kurt, try Berto. Especially when he tries to sing the 'Magnum P.I.' theme. It has no words but he still tries," Illyana added with a shiver.

"Face it y'all, none o' the boys here can sing," Rogue said with a smile.

From his hiding place all John said was, "Just wait 'Sugar'."

He silently crept from his hiding place to go find Kurt.

The party continued on. The girls teamed up and held Storm down and gave her a makeover. She was not amused. Suddenly the fun was broken by a tell tale "bamf."

"Kurt what are you doing here? This is girls only," Kitty called out.

"Give me a second, kaztchen. Ah, here it is. You're gonna love this one, ladies," Kurt said entering a song on the karaoke machine then 'porting out of the room.

"Hurry, turn it off!" Amara cried.

"No, if Fuzzy wants to make a fool...Oh my God," was all Ronnie could say.

The background music from the machine started up. It was "Old Time Rock'n'Roll". Veronica had a bad feeling about this. What she got was even worse.

As the intro was just about over, John came sliding out from the kitchen. He was wearing sunglasses, a dress shirt, boxers and socks and nothing else. He looked almost identical to Tom Cruise in "Risky Business."

Then, he began to sing. All the girls were in too much shock to say anything. First of all, at the fact that this was John of all people, doing this. Second, the boy could sing.

John finished his heart-filled rendition of the classic song. He looked at the girls and all he said was, "Good night ladies. Hope you enjoyed the show. Bengal has left the building! Oh by the way, yes some of the guys here can in fact sing."

"Ororo?" Rogue asked.

"Yes, Rogue?" Ororo replied.

"Was that John?" Rogue asked in a stunned tone.

"I think so..." was all Ororo could say.

"Man Dani, if I would have realized what a nice butt John had, I would have gone after him myself," Illyana said with an evil smile.

"Funny, very funny," was Dani's response.

"It's always the quiet ones..." was all Ronnie could say.

"Wait a second. That crack being able to sing," Kitty piped up.

"Yeah, Kits what about it?" Ronnie asked turning to look at her friend.

"Girls, go check your rooms; I have a bad feeling about this," Kitty said leaping up and tearing off towards hers and Illyana's room .

All of the girls ran, or teleported to their rooms. Almost in unison the cry of "You're dead, Kurt!" was heard throughout the school.

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